Tinley Park Illinois Family Law Blog

Yes, you should talk to your attorney before divorcing

Divorces are all different, which is why it's important to speak to your attorney long before you ever consider talking to your spouse about separating. Your attorney has important information about the things you need to do before you divorce so that the divorce can go as smoothly as possible.

For example, did you know that it's better to collect supporting documents, proof of your assets and financial printouts before you talk about divorce? It's easier to collect these important documents before you go through divorce since your spouse will be more willing to help you find paperwork you're looking for or since the passwords and access to certain documents won't be restricted.

How children are damaged when parents put each other down

Whether you are married, separated, or divorced please stop putting the other parent down in front of your children. It is one thing to speak privately to a counselor or best friend about your frustrations with the other parent, but when you do so in front of your children, it causes them great damage.

Children are highly sensitive to the conflict going on between their parents. They want to believe in the fairy tales they’re watching on television and reading about in books. Children often feel confused and hopeless when they think of how love and relationships appear in reality. But, as parents you owe them the kindness and respect of stepping away from negative criticism of the parent that shares their DNA.

Get help setting up your estate plan

You got married, bought a house and started a family. Everything is going right for you. Then, in a split second, you just managed to miss a high-speed collision. It was shocking, but it shows you how quickly your life can change.

After that kind of incident, it makes you realize how important estate planning is. If something were to happen to you and your spouse, who would take care of your children? What bills would need to be paid or creditors satisfied?

Handle your emotions and get the most from your divorce

It can be hard to handle the emotions of a divorce, but there are a few things you can do to make divorce easier on yourself even if you've been blindsided. For instance, you can set aside specific days to handle paperwork or plan special outings to get away from the people who remind you of your divorce.

When you're dealing with the emotions of a divorce, the last thing you want them to do is to influence the way you react to your spouse's requests or demands. When you're reactionary, you're more likely to become angry or to fail to think things through completely, so it's best if you can find a place of calm before handling divorce subjects.

How does your divorce really affect your child’s education?

Could your divorce hurt your child’s potential for higher education? Recent research suggests that divorces in previously stable families negatively affect an older child’s potential for higher education.

The research also found that children from unstable, lower income or more chaotic family arrangements are not affected the same way. While this seems counterintuitive, if chaos is the norm, it seems children can adapt and even improve when a turbulent marriage come to an end.

R. Kelly faces jail after failing to pay child support due

It is possible to be arrested if you don't pay child support. It can result in serious penalties to you and can even end up causing you to go to jail.

That happened recently to famous singer R. Kelly, who was taken from the courtroom by his legal team after attending a hearing over unpaid child support. The Cook County Sheriff's Office spokeswoman said that he was being transferred to the county jail and detained due to the unpaid support. Now, he won't be able to be released until he pays back what he owes; $161,000 in back child support.

Threatening parents: Sometimes, withholding visitation is valid

There are people who worry that they must always give the other parent visitation rights, even if the other parent is an immediate threat to their children. They may worry every time they drop their children off that this will be the last time they see them.

That kind of stress is not healthy in any relationship or situation. As a parent, you should know that the court will back you up if you feel that your children are in immediate danger. If that's the case, you have the right to withhold custody and to seek help from the authorities and your attorney. In emergency situations, it may even be legal to flee with your children to keep them out of harm's way.

Can digital visitation help relieve my custody worries?

You love your children, and you want to be able to spend every day with them. With your current custody arrangements, you know that won't ever be a possibility.

Despite knowing that the arrangements are in your children's best interests, you still wish you could be with them more. You want to check in with them, and since they're getting older, you want them to have access to you whenever they'd like, too.

Your teen probably has custody preferences

Many divorcing parents have questions about child custody, as they probably should. They wonder what is best for their children and how to allow their children to get through a divorce with the fewest negative consequences.

One thing that you may want to consider if you have older children is asking them what they want. Teens, in particular, don't want to be involved in a situation where their parents are competing over their time. They have their own interests and are becoming more independent. They want to be near their friends and activities.

End-of-life care: Make your preferences known

In your estate plan, one thing you may want to discuss is your preference on the state's euthanasia laws. Most states do not allow physician-assisted suicides, but that doesn't mean that you can't have life-sustaining assistance withheld if you prefer to die naturally.

In your estate plan, it is a good idea to address this situation directly. You should know that withholding or withdrawing from death-delaying procedures is an option that you have. Taking away these assistive machines or procedures is legal, and it doesn't constitute homicide or suicide when patients meet certain qualifications.

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